"Jealousy" for feelingthorny

Levi pushed the door open to Erwin’s office, seeing the man sitting and reading. Levi had been having the most terrible day. It had all started when Levi discovered some of the noble women from the nearby town had come to visit Erwin, bringing sweets and goodies for the commander as their way of thanking him for his hard work.

Levi knew this was all a rouse. These women didn’t care about the Survey Corps, nor about their missions outside the wall. They simply found Erwin attractive, and wanted to get in his pants. And it infuriated Levi to no end.

Levi had stood against the wall as the women coddled and gave googly eyes to the commander, kissing his cheeks and thanking him for all he did. Erwin had been incredibly humble, though slightly embarrassed as well. He’d thanked the ladies profusely for the gifts they’d brought, and kissed their hands, which had them all blushing and giggling like stupid school girls. Levi found it all disgusting, and he’d stood there, arms crossed and teeth grit with annoyance.

So he’d left the office to let the ladies have Erwin for himself, thoroughly irritated and not able to stand it anymore. But now it was later in the evening, and all was quiet, so Levi thought it would be a good idea to sneak back into Erwin’s office now and perhaps have a chat or a cup of tea together.

Levi closed the door behind him quietly, and Erwin looked up from his book, smiling at him, “Hello Levi. My apologies for earlier. The ladies were-”

“It’s fine,” Levi grumbled, not wanting to talk about it.

He didn’t know why it made him so angry. It just did. Erwin eyed him curiously before chuckling at Levi’s reaction, “You certainly seemed bothered by it. You wanted them for yourself, Levi?”

That certainly wasn’t the case. Levi had never had an interest in women. He shook his head, circling Erwin’s desk to pick at his hair. It was all out of place. Those stupid ladies had probably messed it up with their manicured nails, ruffling Erwin’s hair playfully or something of the sort. Levi didn’t like the idea that they’d touched Erwin so intimately.

“Then what’s the problem?” Erwin asked, sitting still as Levi combed his fingers thorough Erwin’s blonde locks, pushing them back out of his forehead. “You seemed particularly upset when you left.”

“They were annoying,” Levi shrugged. “Nothing more to it.”

Erwin was trying to hide a smile, though Levi wasn’t entirely sure why. He finished fixing Erwin’s hair and went to walk away, when Erwin grasped his wrist gently in his hand, stopping him. Levi could feel a blush creeping up his neck at the tender way Erwin was holding him, and he turned to ask Erwin what he needed.

Erwin rose to his feet, and Levi really wished he hadn’t. He was so much more intimidated by Erwin when the man towered over him like that. And not many people could intimidate Levi, even if he was short.

“Are you sure you weren’t perhaps… jealous?” Erwin asked, cupping one of Levi’s cheeks in his hand sweetly. There was something soft in his blue eyes as he stared down at Levi, and Levi could feel himself growing more and more nervous by the second.

“No,” Levi responded promptly. “Don’t be silly, Erwin.”

Erwin’s expression fell, and Levi suddenly felt bad for having answered so quickly and so negatively. He hadn’t meant to dissuade Erwin’s thoughts. He was now coming to realize that perhaps that feeling he’d felt had been jealousy. But why would he be so jealous? He and Erwin were just close friends… that’s all… right? There was no reason to be jealous.

Erwin let go of Levi’s cheek and his wrist, going to sit back at his desk as he muttered, “My apologies, Levi. I suppose that was a little silly of me to ask.”

Levi stared at Erwin for a moment before clearing his throat and going to sit in the chair across from Erwin’s desk. Erwin read a few more pages of his book while Levi picked at his nails nervously, feeling guilty now for having turned Erwin down so fast. He hadn’t meant to. He’d just been so anxious about the whole thing.

That’s when Erwin stood and went to his bookcase, pulling out a bottle of wine and smiling back at Levi, “Would you like to share a glass of wine with me?”

Levi decided he wouldn’t turn Erwin down this time. The man looked so hopeful and sweet, and he was making such a kind gesture. One glass of wine wouldn’t hurt anybody. Levi nodded, watching Erwin take down two glasses and bring them to the desk. He uncorked the wine bottle and began to pour a small portion for the two of them. It was a red wine, though Levi didn’t have much knowledge of wines in general, so he wasn’t sure of anything but the color.

“It’s a shiraz,” Erwin explained, though the words meant nothing to Levi. “One of the expensive wines I was gifted by the women today.”

Levi grimaced at the mention of the women again. But he took a sip of the wine anyways, thinking it tasted okay. Red wines were his preference over whites, but he didn’t really like to drink much in general.

“So…” Levi grumbled. “You going to court anyone from that group today?”

Erwin raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of the wine before replying, “Why would you think that?”

“Well,” Levi tried to justify his thoughts. “You’re not an old man yet, as much as I like to tease you about that… you don’t want to settle down and have kids? Like Nile and Marie?”

Erwin smiled sadly at Levi, shaking his head a little, “I have no intentions of settling down with any of those women, Levi. I’ve already found someone I enjoy spending my time with, and that’s good enough for me.”

Levi stared at him for a while. He could feel his blood boiling, anger and that now-familiar jealousy rising in his chest as he asked defensively, “Who the hell are you talking about? You’re seeing someone?”

Erwin looked a little taken aback at Levi’s outburst, before a shy smile appeared on his face, “Actually, Levi. I was talking about you.”

“Well I-” Levi started to argue before the words Erwin had said registered with him. “Oh.”

He was speechless for once. Usually, he had some sort of snarky reply or quip to answer Erwin with, but not now. He realized that Erwin hadn’t been asking Levi if he was jealous to tease him. He’d been asking because he too felt something for Levi, just like Levi felt for Erwin. Levi could feel the redness building on his face, and took another sip of wine to try and hide it behind the alcohol.

“Yeah,” Erwin chuckled nervously. “Oh.”

Levi couldn’t look at Erwin. He didn’t know what to say to that. Of course he had similar feelings, but he wasn’t sure how to make himself vulnerable - to admit something that personal and intimate to Erwin.

“You can talk to me, Levi,” Erwin insisted, leaning forward over his desk and reaching an outstretched hand out to Levi in offering. “You know I’ll listen.”

Levi didn’t really know what was happening as his hand lifted shakily to fall into Erwin’s palm. It felt safe, to hold Erwin’s hand like that. In fact, it felt safe just to be with Erwin like this… in his office, alone together.

“I… I…” Levi stuttered, terrified to voice his true feelings. He didn’t know how to explain how he felt for Erwin. The intense amount of trust and admiration he had for the man.

“I… enjoy this,” Levi settled on, an awkward smile spreading across his lips. “I enjoy this too… with you.”

He felt so stupid. But Erwin was smiling back at him, his thumb running across the back of Levi’s hand soothingly, “It makes me so happy to hear that, Levi.”

Levi rose to his feet on shaky legs, not sure where this confidence was coming from as he grasped Erwin’s face in his hands and began stroking his cheek with his thumb. Erwin’s eyes widened slightly, looking surprised at Levi’s actions.

“I… y-you…” Levi whispered. “You make me happy, Erwin.”

Erwin took the initiative now, closing the gap between them to press a sweet kiss to Levi’s lips. It was his first kiss, and he was surprised by how gentle and soft Erwin’s lips were on his own. It felt like heaven, and Levi knew he didn’t have to be jealous anymore.